21.7.05

such a long time later. the last semester turned into a head ache of stress and insanity, not coping so well with a high work load, not sleeping enough, spending way too many late hours at uni in front of a computer and making myself sick. so my results were still good. perhaps not great, but good. and this semester my aim is to try get on top of my work a little better. and not work myself into a state of "where is my future going" panic. i have spent a week relaxing up in north QLD. a holiday i took on my own, and easily the most relaxing holiday i've ever been on. now i remind myself i only have 1 1/2 years before i can move on to my next destination, and it's really not that long. i just have to focus and work hard. everything will be fine this time. i have 2 subjects i really think i might enjoy. the other 2 i'll just do my best. i'm looking forward a lot to moving away. canberra isn't for me. but for the moment it will serve it's purpose, until i find home.

posted by melita at 10:53 AM (1) comments

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18.4.05

before uni holidays started i wrote a list of things i wanted to get done.....one week in and none of it has happened. i've been so so busy, not even sure doing what. spending countless late nights in a computer lab at uni, working a lot. trying to catch up with friends, and failing in many cases because everything clashes. i do like being busy though, i think boredom is often the cause of my slippings into insanity. but wow, when should you stop? i've decided to go to the coast tomorrow morning and stay overnight, just to try relax a bit....not sure if it's a good idea with so much other stuff i should be doing......but i'm looking forward to getting out of canberra for a moment. and perhaps by wednesday i'll be so relaxed i'll be able to get everything done. i think the next few months are going to be nuts.

posted by melita at 5:03 PM (0) comments

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1.4.05

you can tell how much i have on by how many fingernails i have remaining. disgusting i know, just one of those habits i cant get on top of. i can quit smoking, but i cant stop chewing my nails. so one exam down, definately not my best work. 2 lab reports, one exam and 6 nails remaining. i dont think it's enough. i'll have to buy chocolate. my 10am exam this morning was fueled by 3 coffees before-hand, which i realised was a bad idea when i stopped writing to shake the cramp out of my hand, and realised my hand was shaking well enough on it's own.

the weekend is to be a blur of work, little sleep and serious work, as i want to get on top of my school work before the week starts and i seriously run out of time. not sure how well that theory will work as my brain doesn't cope to well after being awake till 5am and being rudely awoken few hours later to actually think. on a happier note, 1 week till holidays, joy!

the "new church contact" has already begun, with a phone call and an sms. it's all well meaning i know, but i hate feeling pressure, it has been the reason i've stopped going to churches previously. and here's something to ponder on, when everyone starts talking in "tongues" what do you do? maybe i should take in a cross-stitch......

posted by melita at 3:51 PM (0) comments

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28.3.05

goodness, where have i been?
turns out i was only homeless for just under a week. still a hassle, but it could have been much worse. anyway, i was lucky enough to experience the generosity of a friend and his parents with the loan of a spare room, as well as garage space for my junk and meals. twas nice to be looked after, i could have stayed longer :)

anyway it was all worth the wait for the absolutely awesome place we now live in, brand new 3 bedroom ensuite town house, with spa, dishwasher, aircon and heating, backing onto a golf course, not too far from uni, though farther than i wanted to be, but it's still great. i think i should be quite happy there, though it will be the different experience from the other share housing (shudder) experiences i've had. for starters, i'm friends with both of them. i've also realised i need to learn how to find more space and how to escape nicely without the "where are you going, i'm coming" calls :) dont get me wrong though, they are both great. i just need my unwind time. i also love the company though, where nights are spent sitting up and chatting about random crap. i think it should be fun. learning to fit into society single again. and why do people immediately assume you will want/need a new partner, and try hook you up with everyone? my main aim now is to learn to be alone again, even if it means feeling shitty and lonely sometimes, it's not normal to be reliant on someone else, or on having someone else around so much. anyway i've been fine so far, and i'm lucky to have such good friends here now, i keep thinking back to my pre-uni days where i really didn't have anyone, and i'm so thankful now.

anyway that could be enough of my reflections on this easter weekend - one that has been a bit of a non-event in a way - just another weekend. though i did go to church last night, that's a story in itself! without going into too much detail, it consisted of a congregation of 7 ppl, a sermon showed on video, and i was invited over for dinner afterwards with the pastor and most of the congregation. nice anyway, i've found myself losing touch with my religious side a bit.

anyway, time to stop procrasinating and try some study.....so far behind right now!

posted by melita at 4:00 PM (0) comments

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23.2.05

ever try co-ordinating moving out of one place and into another, risking double rent for too long, or not long enough to actually move and clean between? then try doing it twice within 3 months...........just as uni has started and hence there is next to no accomodation available..........i have the biggest head-ache right now

posted by melita at 12:52 PM (0) comments

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21.2.05

amazing how much can be done with newly discovered single-ness. i've become a gym junkie, had more coffee and beer than in the last 3 years combined, and actually cleaned out my car for the first time in 1 1/2 yrs.....yes, that's right, 1 1/2 yrs!!! i know this, because i found odd receipts, the contract i was meant to sign when i became a full time employee of ye old footy club, and ciggy butts in the ashtray, from when i was smoking. and that was all quite some time ago...........such are the ways i fill in my time......and of course uni, starting tomorrow, which means bed for me...........

posted by melita at 12:16 AM (0) comments

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10.2.05

the end of another era........i have ended that that has been my love and life for the last three years.....where on earth do you go from here. life does go on, for the better or worse i'm yet to find out. i will stay in canberra for now, to finish my degree at least. then i'll move on, to somewhere warmer, and closer to the beach :) it's so strange to throw away everything you know, and leave the future as a blank slate.



*****
just for the record, the da vinci code is that good

posted by melita at 9:12 AM (0) comments

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